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June 2, 2014

What’s Your Pleasure Ceiling?

DSC00027Pamela Madsen recently wrote a short post about a client’s pleasure ceiling. I’ve experienced this pleasure ceiling too. I’ve encountered my pleasure ceiling usually around pretty intense body experiences and I consciously realize that I can’t process any more pleasure. There is simply too much going on at the same time and I hit my max.

Pamela’s great post is directed at women. What about men? Do we have a pleasure ceiling? I believe that we do, and that our ceiling is expressed in a somewhat different way.

Of course there’s always that pesky issue with responsibility. We all (regardless of gender) have noise in our head around all the things we’re supposed to be doing rather than enjoying pleasure. Our culture has this attitude ingrained in us at a young age.

Yet, for many men, I sense that the pleasure ceiling is also due to our excessive focus on goal orientation. We’re so focused on getting somewhere (usually to ejaculation) that we don’t see the pleasure of the journey as anything else other than as a means to an end.

Look at the way most of us masturbate. We take 10 or 15 minutes, often before going to bed, to let go and show ourselves some bodily pleasure. Often we’re so focused on porn or fantasies that we aren’t fully experiencing our own bodies. Most of us are accustomed to one orgasm accompanied with an ejaculation and that’s it.

Not that one orgasm accompanied with an ejaculation is bad – it can be very pleasurable. But there’s so much more possible!

My personal experiences when I’ve hit my pleasure ceiling have been around an almost continuous orgasm. Waves and waves of pleasure engulf my body to the point where I simply can’t take any more. Of course, this type of experience doesn’t happen all the time, but it happens enough that I notice and savor the experience.

So what does looking at your pleasure ceiling look like? The first step is to begin to understand that ejaculation and orgasmic pleasure are not the same thing. Explore additional erotic places in your body in addition to your cock. Pleasure is available just about everywhere.

Look at your masturbation practice. Most of us learned to masturbate when we were quite young and haven’t looked at our practice much since then. See how long you can masturbate without ejaculating. Start off slow and sensual and explore your entire body. Turn off the porn and look at meditating, or quieting your head, as a way to more actively engage with your body. Explore sounds and music as an alternative to porn.

As you build the erotic energy, focus on those sensations. They will build upon themselves and take you to some amazing places. Rather than fantasizing or focusing on porn, you can bring all your attention to your bodily sensations.

When we can learn to masturbate gently and slowly for a longer time period, I’ve found that my mental noise goes quiet. It’s a meditative experience where I’m meditating on pleasure. All I notice is pleasure and nothing else matters during that time.

When I’m in this zone is when I find my pleasure ceiling. I’m also amazed at how my pleasure ceiling has expanded with practice!

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