April 16, 2012

Vulnerability and Authenticity

I am constantly reminded of the power and the challenges of being vulnerable. I’m finding that vulnerability is actually a place from which to create very powerful and memorable connections.

I’m currently wrapping up a long weekend of kink instruction at Kinky Camp, A part of the weekend was a workshop on anal pleasure. I covered many aspects of anal pleasure from very light external touch through and including fisting.

I believe that there are many misconceptions about fisting. Of course fisting isn’t for everyone; however, in porn it’s often depicted as an aggressive and domineering activity. Although it can be that way, it’s also a way for two people to share a close and very intimate connection.

Since many of the people coming to Kinky Camp were novices, and even fewer had any experience with fisting, Scratch and I decided to include a demonstration with my talk.

As I was preparing for the demo the voices in my head became quite loud. Here I was about to have my butt on display for about 30 men. What would happen if I wasn’t ready? What if I wasn’t clean? What if my butt was tight and I couldn’t take Scratch’s hand?

As we started, I found that the connection I had with Scratch enabled me to overcome the noise in my head. The connection and the trust helped me feel in my body that everything would be OK.

Not only did this trust help me, it also helped the men witnessing, many of whom commented that they had never seen fisting before. Given the intensity of what was happening, the energy of the room was very calm and peaceful.

After the demo was complete and we reengaged with the room, I shared the feelings that were going on for me with the men in the room I found that sharing my insecurities and doubts was able to engage some of the men witnessing to share their feelings about the experience too.

Many of the men commented that the demo was very informative and was an important part of the weekend. All in all, a very valuable reminder of the payback in being vulnerable and authentic.

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