February 13, 2014

Valentine’s Day

IMGP1272-smSo Valentine’s day is Friday.

This holiday is usually associated with romantic love or bloody massacres (or both!) I’m kinda a romantic at heart. I love the support, smooching, touching and physical and emotional intimacy that romantic love can provide. I’m also aware that romantic love is culturally loaded and full of unrealistic expectations. Valentine’s day is also really hard for those of us that choose an alternate path for our intimate fulfillment. Those of us in multiple relationships have a scheduling challenge! But, I’m actually OK with the paradox that is Valentine’s day.

There’s an aspect of Valentine’s day that I’m choosing to celebrate this year – I’m going to celebrate my love for myself on Friday. This exercise can be a radical practice of self care. It can heal our core while flying in the face of cultural expectations. While everyone else is out with romantic dinners and flowers, I’m going to be happily staying home alone!

I believe that it’s impossible to accept love into our life unless we can love ourselves. Once we develop the connection with self we can make room for love from another. If we don’t think we deserve to be loved how can we accept that love from someone else?

My self-love practice is more about acceptance than anything else. I practice accepting myself as I am – not how I think I should be. I see myself as desirable – not from a narcissistic perspective, but from a perspective of acceptance. I’m certainly not better than anyone else, but I’m also no worse than anyone else. I’m quite happy with who I am.

I’m planning to spend the evening with myself and see where I want to go. I don’t have any agenda. I’ll probably start with a short meditation to check in after the day and listen to my body, my mind and my spirit. They’ll inform me of where I need to go and what I feel like doing. I’m sure that there will be some self pleasuring going on, but, again, I’m purposefully avoiding any agenda. I may have an intense edging session or I may just have some slow, subdued with my body.

I’ll probably spend a lot of time connecting with my eyes in a mirror. I find this practice very powerful as a way of affirming myself. I’m going to go out and get a really nice bar of deep dark chocolate and savor that all evening! I may spend some time with a mantra of affirmation. I may take a relaxing bubble bath. I may sit in the candlelight and howl. I really don’t know. What I do know is that this Valentine’s day is about loving someone really important to me – myself!

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