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March 14, 2014

Sex Magic

So far 2014 has been a year of change. I welcome much of this change, but any change requires destruction and that destruction can make me nervous.

As this past week has brought a crescendo of potential changes into my life. I see that these changes have potential to bring a lot of answers to things I’ve been wanting; nevertheless, that pesky destruction keeps coming up.

Since my head has been so occupied with all this possibility I’ve been finding sleep elusive this week. Last night I woke up again wide awake. Rather than stare at the smoke alarm light flashing, I decided to spend some time in my body.

I ended up masturbating for around two hours. I found that the head noise kept coming in. Then I would bring my attention back to the sensations and my body. Then the noise. Then back to body. Repeat.

As I kept hearing the noise of possibility, I remembered back to my 12 year old self. As I was masturbating, I recalled that first ejaculation. That first time when I felt that magic. Remembering that first time kicked me right back into my body – right back to that time in the bath tub, when I experienced my first orgasm.

As I kept that image in my mind, I could feel my body let go in preparation for another orgasm. I held the vision of my 12 year old self – the boy beginning his journey and all the possibilities ahead of him. I then had one of the most powerful orgasms of my life. My penis felt it was on fire and my body surged with energy. I released.

As I was experiencing the aftershocks, my mind kept on the vision of my 12 year old self. I started crying. Crying not of sadness – more as a release. I’ve been so needing an emotional letting go of a cry yet I usually find it so difficult to do so. This cry felt so good!

I look forward to where these opportunities may take me!

One Comment on “Sex Magic

Tarnished
March 14, 2014 at 8:29 am

This is an amazingly deep and gentle post. Thank you so much for letting us readers know something so personal and beautiful.

I also will admit to crying after masturbating (or even after some much needed sex). You’re right…it’s not due to sadness or being upset. For me, crying after an orgasm is just the final release of pent up frustrations and desires. I don’t think it’s a problem unless one cries *every* time…then there may be underlying issues that need to be acknowledged.

Thanks again, sir!

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