June 30, 2010

Penis Size

Almost every man in our culture is concerned about the size of his penis.

I remember the scene vividly even though it was over 30 years ago. It way my first high school PE class. This was back in a time when we were FORCED to change before class and shower afterward. I remember PE because it’s where I (and I assume most men) learned about locker room behavior. I learned to secretly check out the other guys and compare their penises to mine. Every guy does it and we all hope we don’t get caught!

Every man, of any sexual orientation, checks out other naked men. Most of the time we’re looking for one thing and one thing only: how big is he compared to me? The thing many of us don’t realize is that this isn’t a fair comparison. When you’re looking at someone else you’re looking at a slight downward angle. When you’re looking at yourself you’re looking almost straight down. These aren’t the same angles; accordingly, you have a different perspective looking at yourself compared to looking at someone else. Keep that in mind the next time you sneak a look!

I’ve worked with men who have concerns about penis size. (No, not all of these men were concerned about their penis being too small – more on that later.) The thing to look at is does this part of your body give you pleasure. Does it feel good? Does it give your partner pleasure? In other words, rather than looking at the size of your penis, take a look at its function. Be happy that your penis makes you and your partner happy.

I’ve also worked with men who complain that their penis is too big. Many of these men find it difficult for others to see them as men; rather, their experience is that of a person attached to a large penis. Many of these men experience popularity but that popularity is only due to their penis – not to who these men are as people. One man recently told me, “I’d actually like for someone to see me and get to know me as a whole person – not just my penis.”

As long as we view our penis as separate from ourselves as men, we’ll continue to experience shame around this part of our body. When we look at this part of the body just like any other part of the body and see ourselves as an integrated, whole person the shame begins to go away.

3 Comments on “Penis Size

October 24, 2010 at 3:02 pm

Easy for someone to say that but looking at your picture in the nude you have a hot looking penis. That any man would like to play with for hours and make love to you. i would love to have my ass tese by it. woof

October 25, 2010 at 10:31 am

I’ve worked with many men with feelings of inadequacy around penis size. For the vast majority of these men, the issue wasn’t their actual penis size, rather it was their feelings about it. Our relationship with our bodies is a fascinating area. Many men look at their penis as a physical representation of their masculinity – with good reason.

In my own experience I’ve never really thought much one way or the other about my penis size. I guess that I’ve wished my soft size was bigger – I think that’s a pretty common thought for men. Of course, the reality behind that feeling is strictly about somehow making myself better than the other guy I’m comparing myself to. It really has no other reason for being!

There’s a huge business that feels off of our feelings of inadequacy. I have a long list of things I’d like to change about my body. The reality is that I can’t change most of those things I don’t like. To me the important thing is to learn to accept and be happy with what we can’t change and work on changing the things we can!

November 16, 2010 at 5:01 pm

You have a penis most men would want, but I agree that looking at a penis on another man is natural; why do you think that a lot of men dress in locker rooms today by putting a towel over their mid-body to take off or put on their pants/underwear/gym shorts? But, these same guys are checking me out when I am drying myself off with a towel, sitting legs open in the steam room/sauna, or putting lotion on my ass and cock before I put on my pants/underwear after a ahower at the gym. And, today, I was checked out by a guy with a large cock (I saw his when he started to stroke his cock in the sauna and then stood up to leave wrapping the towel around his waist since another guy joined us in the sauna, who appeared to not want to join the party!). Mr. Nice Cock (7″+ uncut not aroused) quickly looked down at my nude body and 5″+ partially cut cock (not aroused) as I was going into the shower area and we crossed paths [he leaving and I arriving].

So, all men regardless of their cock’s size (girth & length & cut/uncut/partially cut) and sexual orientation glance or let you glance with pride and curiousity or both. If we ever get over the cock size thing (which is promoted by advertising & porn movies), we will learn that what our cock gives to us and others in the form of pleasure and experiences is a true body part that really only looks “odd” when the cock size does not fit the body [height/weight/proportunate (HWP)].

Thanks for clarifying what really matters about cocks and their purposes and uses.


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