April 11, 2013

My Totem

deer-tailI’ve been on a quest of identity over the last year or so. Until recently, I’ve never really given much thought to who I am. Sure, I’ve been working on self-awareness, or being aware of my patterns, makeup, gifts and shadow. But this never involved naming my identity or symbols of my identity.

I’m still haven’t received the message of a name – or something in addition to my given name that resonates with who I am. However, I have found that I feel a strong affinity toward deer.

I appreciate the strong masculinity coupled with a predominately non-violent way of being. Scent is an important way for me to communicate with my intimates. I like the stag’s way of marking his territory through leaving his scent.

Deer are very alert animals. I consider myself pretty alert and somewhat skittish in new environments – similar to the deer. Once I get to know a space I can be very comfortable, but that does take a bit of time for me.

I recently found a deer tail done by an artist in Oregon. After pondering the tail for a day or so, I realized that it would be the perfect symbol of my connection to deer. The tail arrived today. I spent time this evening engaging in a handshake with the tail. A friend recently told me of the term handshaking to signify an intentional process around getting acquainted with an energy. I strongly feel the need to begin my relationship with the deer tail with a handshake. This evening I simply felt the tail and had it rest on my heart for a bit. It felt right.

I’m looking forward to developing this relationship more!

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