January 22, 2011

Letting Go

I find it really hard to completely let go and I’m really in a cycle lately where I’m aware of how much I’m struggling around this issue.

Most guys are conditioned from an early age to be in control. We’re taught to control our emotions, to suck it up (oh, how I hate that phrase!) and just keep pushing through. Our culture has this false belief that we can control our destiny. Yes, we can do many things to influence our destiny, but much of what happens to us is outside of our control.

We think we can control the planet. Yet for all our accomplishments, Mother Nature has a way of reminding us that she’s actually the one in charge.

So what does letting go look like for me? I’ve always been pretty serious about work and really felt that I was able to let go of responsibilities when I would go on a vacation. Now that I work for myself I’m finding it harder to let go. Yes, I have more control over my life, but I find it challenging to let go and just do what I please.

I think part of the reason I’ve been paying more attention to my spiritual life is because of the strong spiritual context around letting go. So many spiritual practices offer us practice in letting go and surrender. Frankly the idea of a higher power, whatever we call it, is an exercise in letting go. Perhaps letting go of the most important thing to many – the belief that we are the center of the universe!

Many times I’m asked why I enjoy fisting so much and the primary reason it that fisting is a way to completely let go, surrender and savor. Yet, I’m finding it hard now to surrender and let go in other sexual areas. I believe and have experienced the joy to surrendering to an amazing sexual experience. There’s a special gift when I just completely surrender and let my body do what it wants. Lately I’ve been having difficulty is letting go sexually. I’ve been noticing the paradox between letting go and being aware and intentional around sexuality. Now the practice for me is to be aware and conscious of letting go!

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