September 12, 2013

Genital Shame


What did that term become popular?

I’m sorry but neither my penis, my balls nor even my asshole is junk.

Culturally we seem to have three primary ways of referring to our genitals: clinical, vulgar or cute. I really don’t like any of these but I’ve settled on clinical. Cute terms are just too dismissive and juvenile and vulgar terms don’t recognize that our genitals have any value.

Genital shame is real. I encounter feelings of genital shame regularly in my work. We’ve categorized the penis as banal, greedy and without feeling. No wonder that so many of us experience a lack of feeling from our genitals.

A colleague, Bruce P. Grether recently wrote Penis Intelligence of Heart. I found Bruce’s words helpful:

A common cliché is that “men think with their penis” and this usually implies that it makes men do stupid or awful things. The reality behind this is that men feel with their penises, and are often ill-equipped to deal with feelings, due to conditioning about “masculinity” as well as personal history.

Yet in truth, as a human male, your penis is not at all the superficial, greedy and misleading organ that it is often labeled and assumed to actually be. In reality what often makes men do stupid things when driven by desire is not the penis itself. It is largely the conditioning that teaches men to believe that they must get sexual pleasure at the expense of someone else, regardless of consequences, and that sexuality is a way to prove something about yourself.

Limitless Bliss Beyond Understanding is available to any man through Mindful Masturbation—and this changes the entire equation, just as it changes the man himself.

In fact, it is not the brain (which many consider the seat of intelligence) that is your most powerful creative organ (and not even your magnificent penis)—rather, it is your heart. Thus the great poet and philosopher James Broughton described the penis as “the exposed tip of the heart.” This gives some hint of the genuine sensitivity, tenderness and vulnerability of the actual penis. This also suggests its incredible phallic power, as the heart in your chest has been found to exert a tremendous electromagnetic field.

Ancient Egyptians spoke of a most important quality they called “Intelligence of Heart,” akin to intuition, immediacy and authenticity, or self-trust. They considered Intelligence of Heart to be a key faculty of healthy and functional human awareness. They also considered the phallus to be a spiritual umbilical cord that connected the male body with Source. The phallus was further considered the vertical axis that connected the Earth with the Sky, Below with Above.

This tool-box of imagery points to a literal reality that is not symbolic.

To the ancients such truth was immediate and experiential in the human body in relation to the world that was its context. When you break free of social and cultural conditioning that limits you to a jokey dismissive attitude on the subject, your penis is actually an organ of Intelligence of Heart. This is not an intellectual or mental exercise—rather, it’s most likely to occur when you are able to surrender yourself to prolonged and intense high quality intervals of erotic ecstasy. This is not a struggle for therapeutic benefits, though it may require effort and persistence; rather, simply allow the ecstasy itself to do the transformational work.

The head of your penis is emotionally “smarter” than the head on your shoulders!

The luminous glow of sustained genital bliss brings you back into your body; it brings you into the present moment; it returns you from your mind to here and now… if you allow it to do the magnificent, glorious, even miraculous job for which evolution has designed it! Long ago, such pleasure may have been designed to entice you into reproducing.

However your own selective evolution has transformed the penis into an organ that is itself evolutionary when used this way—for personal growth and conscious evolution. The Intelligence of Heart of your penis can be transformational; such ecstasy helps you to become the kind of man you long to be in the depth of your soul.

Mindful Masturbation is the substrate, the baseline practice for Male Erotic Alchemy, which actually deploys pure penile pleasure as self-love to expand your consciousness, open your heart, bring you into awareness of your innate wholeness, and offer you an actual taste of your Oneness with All Things.

All of this = your Intelligence of Heart!

When the penis is perceived as greedy and misleading it’s not only due to, as Bruce mentions, “conditioning that teaches men to believe that they must get sexual pleasure at the expense of someone else” it’s also due to the shame that we feel about sexuality and, at times, our genitals. When we can express our creativity and our heart through our penis the sense of shame that so many of us experience can vanish.

Not only did James Broughton describe the penis as “the exposed tip of the heart”, he also said, “there is only ONE temple in the world and that is the human body”, and that “the proper activity in a temple is worship. Share your holiness. Visit each other’s temples.” When we look at our sexual expression as holy perceptions can dramatically change. We can experience being fully in our body not only as an act of worship but as a way to counteract all those feelings of shame that have built up over the years.

So, how to begin this journey? A great place to begin is to look at what your genitals might say to you. Write down the words and look at how those feelings of shame work both ways. Make amends with your genitals by being loving and tender. Open the connection between your heart and your penis – simply by placing one hand in each area of the body and feel the connection. Let go of expectations and welcome in the bliss that can be accessed through your genitals.

One Comment on “Genital Shame

sam byer
January 17, 2014 at 2:41 pm

I find this a most interesting subject. I also thoroughly enjoy 4 handed massages…..


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