Edging is riding the waves at the edge of orgasm. It’s the beginnings of erotic trance. Learning how to edge is foundational to gooning (deep masturbation trance) and becoming multi-orgasmic.
Most of us learned how to pleasure ourselves when we were much younger. Most likely, we were concerned about hiding our practice and keep from getting discovered. So we developed a habit of ejaculating quickly and quietly. We then quickly removed any and all evidence of what we were doing. As a result, we learned the habit of quickly reaching ejaculation but not fully enjoying the experience.
This habit often gets reinforced as we get older; we can find that we have to hide masturbation from roommates and/or partners. Unfortunately, many men continue to feel guilt, shame or at least embarrassment about how much we love masturbating. Therefore masturbation is kept hidden and practiced in secret. This usually prevents the process from becoming deeply rewarding and nourishing. In fact, most men get stuck in a repetitive and predictable habit – often learned at a young age – of merely relieving sexual tension.
As you practice some of the pleasure foundations and Kegels, you gain focus on enjoying the journey rather than focusing on the goal. Edging is a final step in exploring this journey. Edging is the technique of masturbating until just before you are ready to ejaculate, and then backing off just a bit so that you don’t ejaculate. Riding the edge means getting close to that point of ejaculation and consciously staying in that highly charged state. The experience is like riding waves of pleasure. With experience, you can learn to ride wave after wave of orgasmic pleasure.
This is where you can experience multiple orgasms and learn to separate orgasm from ejaculation. It’s also the magical place where our head noise goes away and all we’re aware of is sensation. This practice requires getting to know your point of no return. All men have a point where we know we are about to ejaculate – nothing will stop it. Getting to know this point requires intimate knowledge of your body. This technique requires patience and it can take a while to learn the timing but the rewards are incredible!
All of the areas we’ve been focusing on so far definitely continue to apply here. For example, it’s important to go nice and slow. If we go to extreme excitement too quickly we may not even realize that we’re getting close to that point of ejaculatory inevitability and then we cum before we really want to.
The good news about edging is that this can be learned. Edging ability is almost always about developing the skill and knowledge of your body to be very aware of your erotic state. Then you can increase of decrease the intensity to keep yourself on the edge.
The main thing we’re doing in these exercises is to learn to recognize the point of ejaculatory inevitability and stay just shy of that point. Another key point is to experience the difference between excitement and enjoyment. Most men have lots of experience with excitement. This is the place where the erotic energy is increasing. We are ‘going up the curve’ and generating more and more erotic energy.
Enjoyment is a bit harder for most men. Enjoyment is simply savoring where we are. We aren’t trying to generate more erotic energy; rather, we are simply enjoying and savoring the energy that is already present. Enjoyment is the place where edging can begin.
Begin by setting aside at least an hour to masturbate. Turn the phone off, turn off the TV, and make sure that you will have no interruptions. I strongly recommend turning off any porn. When you know you have an hour to do nothing except be in your own pleasure, you will find it easier to extend your stroking time.
Take your time getting undressed and don’t be afraid to enjoy your own body. Breathe. Massage any pleasure centers that you may have. Spend time on your body and ever so slowly engage your genitals. Don’t focus on getting and maintaining an erection. Erections come and go. When we’re focused on getting and staying hard, we tend to go pretty fast and furious. Slow down. Focus on the pleasure and note the distinction in feelings between masturbating with an erection and without. Many men find that pleasuring when not all the way hard reduces the pressure to ejaculate. That place where you’re semi-hard can be the source of countless waves of pleasure. You can have incredible erotic sensations when you’re not hard!
Begin pleasuring, slowly, and be very aware of your arousal level. Try to measure it on a scale of 1 to 10 where 1 represents lack of arousal and 10 represents orgasm and ejaculation. Some men move through 6 to 7 to 8 to 10 very quickly, so it’s really important to go slow until you have practice. You may have trouble keeping your mind focused. Note when your mind wanders and gently bring yourself back. Imagine that your mind is like a spotlight – sometimes it moves off the target so gently and slowly bring the light back to the target. Bringing your attention to your breath is a great way to refocus.
As you masturbate, be aware of your arousal rating. You might even say to yourself that I’m at a 4 right now. The first few times you do this exercise stop when you get to around a 5 or 6. When you get to this arousal level stop stroking for about 30 seconds or so – let your arousal level drop by 2 or 3 points. For example, if you stopped when you hit arousal level 6 resume when you arousal level goes down to about 4. Feel free to keep touching, but definitely stop stroking. Once the 30 seconds has passed, resume stroking. Ever so slowly increase the arousal level when you stop stroking when you get to reliably stop around an arousal level of 8 or 9 you’re ready for the next exercise.
By the way, you may ejaculate before you intend. That’s perfectly ok. Remember when you first learned to ride a bicycle? You probably fell a few times. That’s how we learn – by trial and error. If you cum just enjoy the experience and try again when you’re ready.
This exercise will be familiar because it begins just like the previous exercise with a slight addition. At first, aim for maintaining an erection without ejaculating for the first 15 minutes. Then work up to 30 minutes while noting your level of arousal.
Masturbate to keep a fairly constant arousal level around 6.
- After you’re comfortable at a level 6, stop all stimulation, open your eyes wide, relax all your muscles, take a few slow deep slow breaths, and wait until your excitement drops back down to 4.
- Repeat this cycle (between level 6 and level 4) five more times. Note how the later cycles feel different from the first one or two.
- Continue the exercise by repeating these steps up to an arousal level of 8.
- When you reach level 8, wait until you’ve dropped to 6 then resume stimulation. Repeat this cycle a few times too.
- Continue the exercise by repeating these steps up to an arousal level of 9.
- When you reach the peak, wait until you’ve dropped to 7 before continuing.
- Now extend your pleasure using stopping and starting. Again and again, masturbate up to an arousal level 9 and then stop for a moment before continuing.
Remember, if you slip over the edge and cum, relax and enjoy it. It’s good that you’re pushing your limits. You might have to practice many times to develop the sensitivity and timing to do this reliably.
See if you can get to an arousal level of 9.9. Reach that place where with just one more stroke you will cum. This may require lots of practice and you will miss a few times and cum before you intend. That’s ok – you’re learning!
This exercise is just like the previous one except rather than stopping to bring down our arousal level were going to make subtle adjustments to the way we’re stroking to stay just shy of cumming.
These subtle adjustments can be: slow down the pace of the stroking, vary the location of maximum stimulation, miss a stroke or two, just stroke in one direction only, do some light squeezes on your penis, pull your balls a bit, change the hand you’re stroking with or do a backhand stroke.
Slowly work your way up the arousal scale until you get to a 9. Keep going, but slowly, to get to 9.5 then 9.9. Find that point where just one more stroke and you will shoot. The sensations will be amazing! See how long you can keep yourself in this highly charged place.
If you can time it right, you may even have a dribble of cum. This dribble will feel great, and you will definitely feel like continuing on. (This is also the place to begin to explore separating orgasm from ejaculation!) When you reach the point of no return, back off for a bit. Breathe. Savor and enjoy. When you’re ready begin stroking again.
Once you master this part – getting to and staying at the “magic point” – the point at which you can stop stroking just a split second before that uncontrollable urge to ejaculate kicks in, you’ve got it made. You won’t need to totally stop stroking to prevent your orgasm, you will learn to simply slow down your stroking and ride the wave of pleasure that comes just before orgasm. With practice, you can stay on this wave for hours!
The aim is for you to experience a series of orgasmic waves. Try riding the edge for some time. There will be a strong temptation to cum. A way to focus on riding the edge is to set a time to cum. Give yourself an hour or so of edging. One way to keep aware of the time as you’re practicing is to have a digital timer handy. Set the timer for an hour or so and ride the edge until he timer goes off. Try to not look at the timer much. As the ejaculation time draws near, occasionally glance at the timer. When there’s one minute left on the clock, try to stay right on the edge so you can cum right after the timer rings.
Conscious breathing while edging can lead to profound states of ecstasy. Try some of these breathing techniques while riding the edge.
- Open your eyes wide, inhale more deeply into the belly, but this time through the nose, and hold your breath for a moment. Relax completely as you exhale, visualizing your sexual fire and moaning with pleasure to release energy.
- Inhale again through the nose, visualizing pleasure energy moving up from your genitals through your pelvis to your heart or even higher.
- Try placing the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth and note if the erotic energy circulates more freely. You may feel waves of energy going through your body often up the front of your torso and back down through your spine!
- Look into your eyes as you edge and breathe. Get to know your soul!
- Try fast panting while riding the edge. A fast charging breath can induce orgasmic waves throughout the body!
How to Finish
Most guys are used to ejaculating to complete and masturbation session. Ejaculating is one way to finish, but there are other ways that can lead to continued high erotic states.
Savor — End your session by slowly bringing your body down from the ecstatic high. Slow down your touch and position your body so that you are comfortable. Bring your touch to a close and spend 15 minutes or so just lying and savoring.
Big Draw — The Big Draw is a type of breath that can be very powerful and move energy throughout the body. To do a simple Big Draw lie down and do a fast breath for about 30 seconds or so. Then follow this with 3 deep breaths, on the 3rd breath, hold your breath and clench all your muscles and lift your arms and legs off the floor. When you are ready let go of the breath and let go of the clenching.