November 8, 2016


Since most of us struggle with periods of self-hatred, bad body images, shame and confusion over sex and pleasure, I recommend having a hot love affair with yourself. Sexual healing begins by learning how to turn yourself on, discovering your sexual fantasies, and giving yourself an abundance of selflove and orgasms.
Betty Dodson

Gay men are much more sensitive to our body image. We’re in a culture that celebrates the muscled shirtless male form. All the dating apps fuel this insecurity and we have a constant pressure to look like the perfect male specimen.

I was a fat kid growing up. Thank goodness I wasn’t the fat kid; instead I was always 2nd to last to get picked for teams. Needless to say my self image was pretty damn poor. I leaned that my body wasn’t very good at the things that were valued. I wanted to be someone, almost anyone, else.

I tried many things to help my self image. I was smart. I got a good job. I made good money. But I couldn’t shake that image of the fat boy in my head that just wouldn’t go away. I found it odd when others would express an interest in me. Why me? I certainly didn’t see it.

It sounds strange to say, but I recovered my sense of self worth from masturbation. Masturbation has been restorative for me. I learned to not only accept my body but to embrace it and enjoy it. I explored the depths of pleasure that my body could experience and realized that my body is perfect just the way it is and nothing needs to be changed.

I’m not saying that masturbation will cure anyone of body image issues. Of course, it’s much more complicated than that. I do believe that celebrating ourselves can go a long way to self acceptance.

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