Connections

A common theme I hear from many clients is the search for real connection. There's a paradox going on now around connection. There are so many places to attempt to find connection  - more than we've ever had in the past. Social networking sites like Facebook make it easy to find people and to follow those friends once you've found them.

On the other hand, we continue to be starved for connection. I believe that these networking avenues are a poor substitute for the real thing that we all crave. Real connection operates on many levels at the same time. This includes the intimacy of the connection, what we take in from all our senses, and the energy of the space and the exchange between the people. These levels just aren't available over the computer.

The networking sites just don't have all these levels available to us. Sure it's nice to hear a few words from a friend or see a few new photos, but this isn't the same as a connection operating at all the levels that we are accustomed to. It's not the same as a live human.

I do have a profile on Facebook - it's here. It's been interesting to connect with people I haven't seen in many years. In fact many of my friends on Facebook are from high school. It's enjoyable to catch up with them and see what they're up to these days.

But are many of these friends on Facebook really connections that we long for? Personally, I don't believe that I'm really connecting with most of my friends through Facebook. Sure, there's an occasional chat or message, but I'd rather connect face to face or at least over the phone. The intimacy of a one on one conversation is missing from Facebook.

I guess that I'm aware that there's a part of connecting that the computer can't accommodate. Namely, there's the interaction of a real-time conversation. I miss hearing vocal tones. I miss seeing facial expressions. It feels to me that I'm interacting with a hologram of a person rather than the actual person.

Many times intimate conversations require us to be vulnerable - to drop the walls that guard us and expose us for who we really are. To me a connection is sharing what's really going on - not the veneer of superficial things. This requires a true connection and trust. From my perspective, I don't feel comfortable dropping these walls for every friend I have on Facebook.

If I'm going to share aspects of my life then I need to have safety and trust. I spend a lot of effort in creating safety and trust in a session because I know how vulnerable someone can feel sharing what REALLY going on. These social networks don't have the safety and trust. Instead are we being relegated to sharing old school photos and recipes rather than what's truly needed for a connection? No wonder we're all starved for connection!

So is Facebook all bad? Of course not! I've enjoyed seeing what old high school friends are up to. I've also been fortunate to reconnect with good friends after years of drifting away. It's been great learning to reconnect with these dear friends. In some ways it's as if we never drifted away. But the common theme with these people is a strong effort to re-establish the connection and lots of in person or phone time.

There's just no substitute for the warmth of another human!

Exploring Mindful Self Loving
Monday April 6

Join me and a circle of men every first Monday of the month from 7:00 - 10:00 pm, Join us for conscious, open-hearted erotic education and practice, specifically focused on developing self-pleasuring skills for personal growth, self-awareness and spiritual evolution. The first half of the evening I'll lead the group through exercises to focus on savoring and being present in our bodies. The second half of the evening will be open ritual time. This is a hands on, clothing off event. For more information go here.

Enjoy!

Ed

Copyright © 2009. Sacred Touch for Men. All rights reserved.