Exploring Our Erotic Senses

Most of us rely upon one of the five senses more than others. For most men, when it comes to our erotic lives, that sense is our sight. Most men are highly visual and we often rely upon our visual sense more than our other senses.

This shows up in different ways. Many of us become erotically charged at the sight of our partner and others who we find attractive. How many times have you noticed your eyes wandering - at the store, in traffic or on the street? This heightened sense of vision also comes up when looking at erotic images. Most men find porn arousing. Some men prefer to turn the sound off and concentrate on the visual images. Porn can be a great spark to get things flowing, but I encourage you to turn the images off at some point. Sometimes we can be sucked into what we're seeing and lose the feeling in our bodies or the connection with our partner.

I often invite men to try new ways of experiencing erotic feelings. If you're a visual person, try turning your vision off next time you're in an erotic space. Sometimes when we stop one sense the others may take on more importance. Close your eyes. Better yet, tie a blindfold on. Explore your partner through your touch, your smell, your taste, and your hearing. You may be amazed at what you have been missing!

Also, I invite you to try this while self-pleasuring. Turn off the porn. Turn off the computer. Set aside some time for self-pleasuring and put on the blindfold. Focus on the feelings generated in your body. You may be amazed at how sensitive unknown parts of your body are. Use your other senses to explore your erotic energy. What do you feel? What do you smell? What do you taste? What do you hear?

Of course if you're not a visual person you will need to make some adjustments. Some senses are easier to turn off than others. But try focusing on senses that you don't use that often and see how you can surprise yourself!

Enneagram

The Enneagram has been used for many centuries to help us understand more about ourselves and others. It shows nine basic types of human nature. I believe that the Enneagram is useful in erotic and life coaching. I've been using the Enneagram to find out more about myself as well as helping clients find out more about themselves. Understanding your type can help us understand more about ourselves and how we interact with others. There is no 'right' or 'wrong' type. Each of the nine types have traits that can be very supportive for ourselves and others. Also, each of the nine types have traits that can get in our way.

The nine personality types are:

Type 1: The Reformer - principles, purposeful, self-controlled and perfectionistic
Type 2: The Helper - demonstrative, generous, people-pleasing and possessive
Type 3: The Achiever - adaptive, excelling, driven and image-conscious
Type 4: The Individualist - expressive, dramatic, self-absorbed and temperamental
Type 5: The Investigator - perceptive, innovative, secretive and isolated
Type 6: The Loyalist - engaging, responsible, anxious, and suspicious
Type 7: The Enthusiast - spontaneous, versatile, distractible and scattered
Type 8: The Challenger - self-confident, decisive, willful and confrontational
Type 9: The Peacemaker - receptive, reassuring, agreeable and complacent

I've included a basic type indicator on my website to introduce you to what may be your type. After you complete the 36 questions, you will see your scores and a short description of all nine Enneagram types. There's also information on the scientifically validated full test that's available. By the way, I've taken the full test and I'm a Type 3. Knowing my type has helped me see a lot about myself - things I like about myself as well as things I don't like. Knowing my type has helped me see how I get in my own way.

I'm Changing My Schedule Slightly

As many of you know I've been looking to set a regular weekend for myself. It took me a while to come to this realization, but it's important to set aside time for me. I've decided to take Wednesdays and Thursdays off as my weekend. Many of you have asked about seeing me on Sunday; so beginning in April I'll be available on Sundays! I will be slightly adjusting my Saturday and Sunday schedules; these two days I'll be available from 10:00 AM and my last session will be finished by 6:30. I'll continue to be available beginning at 10:00 AM and my last session is finished at 10:30 PM on Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays.

Most times I'm fully booked 2 to 3 days in advance. Also, weekday evenings tend to full up even faster. The more advance notice you have increases your chance at getting the time that's best for you. Also, if I'm not available you can call my friend, An-Le, to see if he's available. You can reach An-Le at 415-595-0634.

Bare Chest Calendar Update

In the last newsletter I mentioned that I was confronting my own demons and entering the 2008 Bare Chest Calendar contest. Well, I made it to the finals!! I had a lot of fun at the event selling raffle tickets to raise money for the San Francisco AIDS Emergency Fund and Positive Resource Center. The finals will be in early May. I'll be sure to let you know the details on the finals.

Free Taoist Erotic Massage Demo

This Thursday evening March 8 from 7:00 to 10:00 the New School of Erotic Touch will be hosting demonstrations of Erotic Massage. I'll be giving one of the demo massages. If you're curious about conscious erotic massage check out this informative evening. For more information give the school a call at 510-428-9063.

Spring is just around the corner!

Ed

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