 Welcome
to a New Look!
I've recently updated the
website with more information and a brand new look. The newsletter
reflects this new design. I was looking for something fresh and a bit
easier to read. I realize that many people look at the site before
contacting me and I wanted to make sure the site was as clean as
possible and easy to navigate. The old design, while useful, was limited
in the number of pages I could link into the site. This new design
offers a lot more flexibility. I've added a lot more text about my work
and a few new pictures too. Take a look and let me know what you
think.
My Move is Finally Over!
I first thought about moving from Phoenix to San Francisco last
November. I never thought it would be almost a year later until I could
say that I'm finally done with this move. But, I'm finally done!!!
I lived in Phoenix for almost eight years. I moved there for a
corporate relocation. I came to enjoy the beauty of the desert and I
actually liked the heat. Yes, 100 is a nice temperature, but 110 is damn
hot! I had been traveling between Phoenix and San Francisco a lot - at
first for my job and later I continued the travel to see massage
clients in both locations. But the travel was getting to me. I left the
corporate world for several reasons. One of those reasons was the
excessive travel and a feeling that I had no life. Here I was after
leaving the corporate world behind and still doing all this travel. I
had come to like San Francisco a lot, but wasn't sure I could live there because it's so
much more expensive compared to Phoenix. After looking around at places
to live I realized that San Francisco could be affordable, but I would
be living in a much smaller place. I finally decided to move around Thanksgiving last year.
I learned a lot about myself during this move. Every other move I've
done was either small (before I owned a house) or a corporate move that
was entirely taken care of by my employer. This was the first big move
that I did myself.
So, what did I learn about myself during this move?
First of all things happen when they're supposed to. All my previous
moves had a project plan that I designed. Things were planned and everything was supposed
to happen according to the plan. Well, that's great but sometimes things
happen when they're supposed to. I had planned to sell my house in
Phoenix in a few months, but it took eight months to sell it. As I look back,
one of the reasons was that I had a hard time moving my spirit from that
house. I believe that when your spirit is in a place the house turns
into a home. For me, eight years was a long time in one place I grew a
lot while living in that house in Phoenix. For this reason I had a hard time
letting go of it. It really didn't sink in that I needed to let it go until
I returned to Phoenix after living in San Francisco for several months.
The house was very familiar to me, but it wasn't home. It's as if I was
staying in a familiar hotel. At this point, I realized that I could let
go of the house. I had an offer to buy it shortly afterwards.
Second, I learned that periodic downsizing is a good thing. Like most people I spent
a lot of my life acquiring things and chasing money. I was constantly thinking that when I
hit some magic salary amount my life would be perfect. Funny how that
magic salary number keeps increasing! Well, I hit
several magic numbers and realized that no matter how much money I made,
it was never enough. I kept wanting more stuff. I realized that I was
becoming a slave to money. After many years of
this I came to the point of asking myself why. Why do I need all this
stuff? I even had two cars - yes, one person and two cars! I lived in a 4
bedroom house by myself. There were rooms I rarely went into! I came to
realize that this is insanity so it was time to downsize. By moving to
San Francisco I was forced to ask myself what things were really needed
because my place in San Francisco is a third of the size of my house in
Phoenix.
The downsizing was more difficult than I thought. I kept remembering
when I bought most of the things and how I felt I 'made it' because of
the stuff. So I kept at it. I focused on what things I needed to have,
what things had sentimental value that I wanted to be in my limited
space. There's still a way to go to get to my new home to where I want
it to be, but
downsizing feels good.
Finally, I learned that am not my stuff. Our culture celebrates
acquiring things. Things that are a reflection of what you want to be. You know,
buy the right car and you'll be the envy of everyone. One of the
last things I did in Phoenix was to hold a moving sale. I had things
that fit in a 4 bedroom house; there's no way they would fit in my place
in San Francisco. I started the sale at 7:00 in the morning on a
Saturday in Phoenix. There were people lined up to get in by 6:30! I've
never seen such a madhouse to clear out my things. By noon it was pretty
much over. That afternoon, as I was reflecting on the sale I realized
that I just sold a bunch of things that I thought were important to me.
What I learned is that I am the same person after the sale as before.
Possession is temporary. I thought I learned that lesson when my grandmother
had to sell all her things before moving into an assisted care home. I
saw many things I remembered as a child being sold. But I really learned
this lesson when I sold my own stuff. I realized that I may have just sold many
of my possessions, but I am still me. I still have my memories, my sense
of self and I'm
not defined by the stuff I have.
So, if you would have told me what I would have gone through last
year when I first thought of moving I probably wouldn't have had the
courage to move. But I'm glad I did. I like my new home and I learned a
lot about myself in the process. Also, now that I'm settled this
newsletter will be a bit more regular now too!
Sacred Intimacy
Sacred Intimacy is a new service I'm offering. Last month I completed
sacred intimacy training with the
Body Electric School. Similar to much of the work I already do, Sacred Intimates are specialists in embodiment, not analysis or
processing. Sacred Intimacy is about how to change, not why you are wounded.
Traditional psychotherapy is all talk no touch, and
traditional massage therapy is all touch no talk. But sometimes
what we need isn't so easily compartmentalized.
This is
especially true for people seeking healing around sex, sexuality, and body issues.
Through Sacred Intimacy, I use mindfulness and integrity to help
men identify, embrace and
practice desire as sacred.
Most of us were taught that sex is a vile, nasty, evil
thing. We were taught that sex is only to be used to procreate.
There are alternatives. Sexuality can be a glorious, spiritual
expression. Personally, I believe that my erotic energy is an expression
of my Higher Power. This Higher Power created sexual pleasure for
me to enjoy
being in my body. I've found clarity,
release, union, power, healing and even transformation in my
sexual life.
Sacred Intimacy is way to be with a trusted person who is
completely committed to you. A Sacred Intimate is fully present,
without judgment, for what you intend and helps you meet your
intention. A Sacred Intimate is someone you can be completely
open and honest with and express your deepest desires without
fear of judgment.
The things we can do together are almost unlimited. Feel free to ask
for what you want. I encourage you to ask for what you want to feel
rather than what you want to do. I'm often asked what's a good intention
for a session. A good intention is generally any statement that begins
with 'I want to feel...' Intentions are about the feeling, not focused
on the modalities of the session. For example, 'I want to get fucked' is a want
but 'I want to feel loved' is an intention. Before
we begin any session, we'll spend some time clarifying your intention
for our time together.
Don't worry if you're confused about the difference between Sacred
Intimacy, Sexological Bodywork & erotic massage. Frankly, I'm
sometimes confused
too. The important thing is to focus on what you want to experience or
what you would like help with. I'll worry about how I provide you with
that experience or help. My fees for the sessions are the same
regardless of what we do.
Be sure to check my new
website for a lot more information.
A New Experiment in Learning
I'm going to be teaching an online class next month. The
New School of Erotic Touch
is a great resource on the web. I strongly recommend their DVD's for
instruction on erotic massage. I've been asked to lead a class for men
on accessing erotic trance. This class will begin in late October and
will be entirely online. I'm looking forward to the opportunity to try
online teaching and hope to do more in the future. For those not in the
San Francisco area, this is a great way to get some exposure to my work!
I'd love to see you participate in this online class.
I'm writing this the week before the
Folsom Street Fair in
San Francisco. Over the past few years I've come to celebrate the
Leather Man/Boy in myself (that's a subject for another newsletter) and
I'm looking forward to a fun Leather week. Have fun & stay safe! Ed |
