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Sacred Touch for Men Relax your body. Reclaim your pleasure. Find your passion.

FAQ

Therapeutic Massage Questions

What is your massage training?
Are you a licensed or certified massage therapist?
What can I expect when I arrive at your studio?
Are you nude for the massage and can I touch you?
I’ve never had a massage before, what kind of massage should I ask for?
How should I prepare for a massage?

Erotic Massage Questions

You’ve had training for erotic massage?
Is this only for men? Does this mean your clients are gay?
I’m not comfortable talking about what I want during the massage. Can’t you just figure it out?
Why should I consider not ejaculating?
What should I expect during an anal massage?

Sex Coaching Questions

What is Sex Coaching?
What is your training for Sex Coaching?
What is a Sacred Intimate?
How can power and surrender activities help me access emotions?
What do you mean by practicing dying?
I’m nervous about this. I’ve never done anything like this before.
Do you work with singles or couples?
What’s the difference between Sex Coaching and therapy?
How should I prepare for a Sex Coaching session?

Masturbation Coaching Questions

This sounds really silly. What benefits can I get from masturbation coaching?
What can I expect from masturbation coaching?
What kind of home assignments should I expect?

Office Policy Questions

What are your hours and how far ahead do I need to schedule?
Do you do outcalls?
Do you accept credit cards or checks?
Do you offer discounts or gift certificates?
How much time should I reserve?
Do you have a sliding fee scale for men living with HIV or other chronic conditions?

Other Questions

I’m confused. You offer many services and I’m not sure what to ask for?
What does the name Sacred Touch mean?
I’m not happy with my body. I think I’m ugly. How will I be treated?
I like your website, who designed and built it?

What is your massage training?

I have over 800 hours of massage training from the Southwest Institute of Healing Arts in Tempe, AZ and The Body Electric School in Oakland, CA. I am trained in many forms of massage including Swedish, deep tissue, sports, myotherapy, and cranial-sacral. I also have training in addressing problem areas such as the head and neck, shoulders and the lower back.

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Are you a licensed or certified massage therapist?

Yes, I am fully licensed. I have an Advanced Massage Practitioner License in San Francisco.

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What can I expect when I arrive at your studio?

My massage studio is a separate room in my home. I live with my partner and you are assured of complete privacy. I do share my home with my dogs (a Basset Hound and a Chihuahua) who will also probably greet you when you arrive. My studio is fully equipped for your comfort. You will notice relaxing music playing in the background. The room will be a comfortable temperature. My table will be ready with fresh linens. The table will also be heated if needed. A bathroom with shower is available for you.

If it’s your first visit, I’ll ask you to complete a brief health questionnaire. This questionnaire is needed so that I know what’s going on with your body that could impact the massage. For example, do you have any joint pain, sore muscles or recent surgeries? I also make notes about your specific likes and dislikes. For example, do you like extra attention to your shoulders because you work at a desk all day? All of this information is kept strictly confidential. We’ll then have a brief chat to see what types of massage you have enjoyed in the past and what type of work you are looking for today.


Health Questionnaire

Click to download the Health Questionnaire.

Please let me know if you would enjoy erotic touch. Your boundaries are important to me and I won’t include erotic elements into a massage if you don’t ask for it.

I’ll then ask you to undress to your level of comfort and lay down on the massage table. Most clients prefer to receive their massage nude, but nudity is never required. Modesty and comfort levels vary from person to person; the important thing is that you’re comfortable.

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Are you nude for the massage and can I touch you?

A therapeutic massage may be very sensual, but it is not intended to be erotic or sexual. However, During the massage, there will be some intimate contact between us. I understand that you may become aroused when I occasionally brush up against you or when I’m massaging your glutes or inner thighs. Enjoy this sensual touch as part of the overall massage. Sometimes if we focus so much on sex, we can miss how pleasurable a massage can be.

Most men prefer to receive the massage in the nude and prefer that I be nude as well. When both of us are naked there is an increased sense of closeness and intimacy during the massage. I am happy to work nude. Of course, the choice is yours.

Mutual touching is welcomed but I ask that the focus stay on you. If you’re focused on touching me, you aren’t fully relaxed yourself. I ask that you let go and just relax on the table and receive the massage.

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I’ve never had a massage before, what kind of massage should I ask for?

There are over 150 styles of massage available. Wikipedia has an excellent overview of the most popular massage styles.

Before I begin any massage, I spend some time asking you what you are looking for in today’s massage. For example, do you want light, gliding strokes or deeper work into the muscles? Would you like to incorporate stretching and range of movement exercises into your massage? Do you want me to concentrate on one part of the body? Based on your responses, I create a custom-crafted massage that incorporates several different modalities to give you the type of massage you are looking for.

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How should I prepare for a massage?

The most important thing you can do is to consciously breathe. Most of us aren’t aware of our breath and don’t take in enough air. Spend a few minutes before your massage relaxing and paying attention to your breathing. I have found the anal breath very powerful and simple. When you inhale, count to four and consciously relax your anal sphincter as you inhale. The intent of this breath is to relax the pelvic floor. Take in as much air as you can, but don’t strain yourself. Then exhale to a count of four. There should be no effort at all on the exhale – just let the air out. There’s no need to push the air out. Repeat this breath for a few minutes and you will find yourself much more relaxed.

I also recommend a warm shower before your massage. Also, if you have any specific preferences, (for example you do not like your abdomen touched) or have any medical conditions or surgeries that could impact the massage, please let me know when you arrive. I ask that you do not consume alcohol or nonprescription drugs before our session. Intoxicants will hinder our time together.

Prior to your session check in with your body. Ask yourself how are you are feeling. Try to avoid answering with the word ‘fine.’ Scan your body from head to toe and notice what you feel. Take a full minute to do nothing but breathe. Breathe from your belly – not your chest. Breathe slowly and with purpose. Try taking three seconds for each inhale then exhale for three seconds. Don’t force your exhale – relax and let it go without any effort.

Please remove all jewelry that can be removed. If you have long hair, please pull it back with a clip.

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You’ve had training for erotic massage?

Yes. I am a Certified Sexological Bodyworker. This training includes extensive work in performing conscious erotic massage. I bring a professional background to this work to give you the experience you are looking for. I also bring my therapeutic massage training to erotic massage. I mix therapeutic and erotic elements throughout the session to relax your body while increasing your erotic charge.

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Is this only for men? Does this mean your clients are gay?

My clients range in age from 18 to their 80′s. Any man 18 or older is welcome. The sexual orientation of a client is not relevant. I have many clients who don’t identify as being attracted to other men, but crave the touch of a strong masculine man.

My work is about male energy. I believe that all people have male energy. My work is focused on persons who identify as male. This doesn’t mean you have to be biologically male. I welcome trans guys as well as people questioning or exploring their gender identity.

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I’m not comfortable talking about what I want during the
massage. Can’t you just figure it out?

I use my intuition often during a massage. I adjust the massage to what your body tells me during a session. Intuition is a great gift. I also believe that it’s very important to be clear about intentions and boundaries. Intuition doesn’t work as well for these areas. For this reason, I like to chat a bit about what you’re looking for before we begin any session.

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Why should I consider not ejaculating?

So many of us are in the habit of ejaculating every time we raise erotic energy. I strongly believe that ejaculation is a wonderful celebration of being male not to mention it’s an incredible feeling. I ask that you do it consciously – not just because you always do. By retaining that erotic energy inside your body you have an opportunity to keep that ‘erotic buzz’ going and taking that feeling with you throughout your day.

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What should I expect during an anal massage?

Just as a therapeutic massage, the most important thing you can do is to consciously breathe.
Breathing helps to relax our body – including the anus. Some men are under the impression that anal touch – especially penetration – should hurt. This is absolutely wrong! Anal touch should never hurt. Pain is your body’s way of telling you that something isn’t right. Perhaps you aren’t relaxed and should postpone any penetration. Listen to your body and its wisdom.

I suggest a light anal cleansing beforehand. There’s no need to do a deep anal cleaning unless you would like very deep internal touch. A light douche with lukewarm tap water works best. You can use a bulb type douche or a disposable douche from a pharmacy. Don’t use the liquid in the disposable douches. Open the bottle, dump the liquid and replace with lukewarm tap water. If you would like help with cleaning I’m available to show you various cleaning methods.

All anal touch is done with gloves and an individual supply of lube. At any time during the massage if something isn’t comfortable for you please let me know.

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What is Sex Coaching?

Sex Coaching is focused on helping you define and achieve your dreams with your erotic life.
Most of us were not educated about our sexual selves. Consequently, we can fall into habits that have developed over many years. Sometimes we need a bit of help breaking out of these habits. Sex Coaching can be helpful to break these old habits and define a new erotic energy for yourself.

Sex Coaching can be helpful to address a number of concerns. As an example, we may have concerns around sexual performance. This anxiety can cause us to detach from any pleasurable experience. An Sex Coaching session is not about performance – it’s about being present in your experience. This focus on presence can help you be in your body without becoming concerned about performance issues.

The sessions are entirely focused on you – there is no expectation for you to do anything
except breathe and be present. Through breathing, connection and touch that honors all parts
of male energy I help men to connect with their mind, body and spirit.

There’s no such thing as a typical session. A Sex Coaching session is focused on what you want. The session provides a safe container for you to have whatever experience you need. Sex Coaching sessions can be extremely intense and life-altering. There are many things that we can do during a session. These things can include: being held and cherished; role-playing (father-son, mother-son, God, partner, or any other role), breathwork and meditation, massage, accessing erotic trance, confronting issues with your ass or cock, practicing death, flogging or spanking. The formats are limitless. I will also invite you to do some erotic assignments on your own or with your partner in between our sessions.

The sessions are intended to help you learn more about your erotic self. They are not intended to fulfill our human desire for sexual connection. I do maintain boundaries around the touch I offer. I’m happy to discuss my boundaries with you so that we can be clear on our intentions for the session. The first step in sex and intimacy coaching is to create the intention you wish to have for the sessions.

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What is your training for Sex Coaching?

I am a Certified Sexological Bodyworker – certified by the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality and approved by the State of California Department of Post-Secondary Education.

In addition I am trained as a Sacred Intimate from the Body Electric School. I have also completing training in Life Coaching from the Coaches Training Institute.

I weave these complimentary backgrounds with my massage training and life experiences to offer you erotic education in a safe environment.

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What is a Sacred Intimate?

Each person who calls himself or herself a Sacred Intimate answers this question differently. To me a Sacred Intimate is a love warrior – one who loves unconditionally and uses this love to help others experience love of their own.

In ancient times, there were temples for men who loved men throughout the known world. A man was able to go to a temple and have a session with an erotic temple worker. These temple workers would teach men to open themselves through love so that love could flow into the world. This was done through song, dance, massage, trance, prayer, meditation and sexual intimacy.

I bring my training and background in sacred intimacy to Erotic Coaching.

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How can power and surrender activities help me access emotions?

Power and surrender activities include spanking, flogging, bondage and other activities that give control to a trusted person. I believe that this work can help us access underlying emotions that are often hidden by our noisy minds. Intense body sensations quiet the noisy mind and allow those deeply buried emotions to come to the surface.

Before we begin any power and surrender session I will spend some time discussing your experience and limits. We will set up ‘safe words’ that you may use to communicate with me during our session. One of these safe words will be used to tell me to immediately stop the session.

I am skilled to gently increase the level of sensation to help you access those emotions. Then skillfully bring you back down again and care for you as you regain awareness of your surroundings.

I invite you to talk with me to find out more about this groundbreaking work.

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What do you mean by practicing dying?

All of us will die someday. How will we feel when that day arrives? Will we be comfortable with the process or wishing we had more time? Many cultures offer opportunities to practice dying – giving up our worldly body and explore our consciousness. This help us learn more about our life here before that day arrives.

Practicing dying is a guided meditation using the breath to let go of our bodies. I guide you to release parts of your body then sit with you as you experience the feeling of letting go. Then I gently guide you to come back into your body. Many people (me included) find this an amazing and eye opening experience.

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I’m nervous about this. I’ve never done anything like this before.

Almost all first-time clients are a bit nervous. The apprehension is usually because you don’t know what to expect. I’m happy to answer any questions you may have. Call me or email me and I’ll be happy to answer any question to put you at ease. There’s no such thing as a stupid question. I’ll treat you with the courtesy and respect you deserve to help you decide if my services are right for you.

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Do you work with singles or couples?

Sex Coaching can be done with both singles and couples. As a single person I can help you become more comfortable in your body or asking for what you want. As a couple, I can help you with communicating your erotic desires with your partner. I request that you bring your partner if you would like to work on interpersonal erotic skills.

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What’s the difference between Sex Coaching and therapy?

The primary difference between coaching and therapy is that coaching assumes you are whole. A coach believes that you know what you need; you just need someone to help you find it. Coaching comes from a place that assumes you are not broken or in need of fixing. Coaching focuses on the future. Coaching is focused on your experience in your body. Sex Coaching is driven by your desire to set and reach goals for sexual fulfillment. You define your own goals. I strive to guide and empower you to reach your goals.

Sex Coaching can compliment the work you do with a therapist. If you wish, I am available to work with your therapist.

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How should I prepare for an Sex Coaching session?

Just as for a massage session, the most important thing you can do is to consciously breathe so please take a look at how to prepare for a massage. The home assignments are an integral part of Sex Coaching. Please take some time before we meet to complete the assignments. Some of the assignments are intended to allow you safely explore new erotic territory and occasionally you may not be able to complete an assignment. That’s OK. If you’re not able to complete an assignment, please take some time to reflect on what prevented you from completing the assignment. Often acknowledging the obstacles can provide insight on how to best get to where you want to go.

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This sounds really silly. What benefits can I get from masturbation coaching?

When did you learn how to masturbate? If you’re like most men you probably learned sometime when you were between 11 and 14 years old. How old are you now? How much more do you know about pleasure and your body than when you were 11 to 14? Are you masturbating the same way now as you did at that age? If so, why? Is that method still serving you? Do you still experience extreme pleasure from that method? If not, perhaps it’s time to look at the way you masturbate. There are profound states of pleasure that can be accessed through masturbation.
Coaching helps you access those states.

If you’re in a relationship masturbation is a way to share yourself openly with your partner. I believe that you can’t make love with a partner until you learn to make love with yourself. Coaching can help you access how to do that and take those skills and learnings into your relationship.

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What can I expect from masturbation coaching?

The first step is to complete a brief questionnaire that focuses on the outcomes you want. I’ll then ask you several questions to fine tune your responses and help me understand better what you want to accomplish through the work.

We’ll do some exercises together and I’ll invite you to do some home assignments to expand your learnings. The experiences are intended to help you learn more about self-pleasuring so that you can take these experiences into your erotic life after the time we have together is finished.

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What kind of home assignments should I expect?

The home assignments are varied and tailored to your experiences. Some examples may include journaling, mirror exercises, videotaping yourself and privately viewing the video. I may ask you to set intentions when masturbating – for example, to not ejaculate for today. I may also invite you to masturbate with your partner then spend some time talking with each other about the experience.

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What are your hours and how far ahead do I need to schedule?

I take in-person appointments Tuesdays through Fridays beginning at 10:00am and my last appointment is finished at 10:30pm. On Saturdays I see clients from 10:00am and finish
at 6:30pm. I don’t see clients on Sundays or Mondays.

My calendar is now available from this website! This should help you find a time that is open. Since the calendar is always changing and I limit the number of sessions per day, please understand that an open time slot may not actually be available for an appointment. Please phone or email me to arrange for telephone coaching sessions.

I’m usually fully booked 3 to 4 days in advance, but that can vary. If you would like a same day appointment please call me to check my availability. The more advance notice you can provide the better chance you will have of getting a time that’s best for you. I check my email and voicemail frequently. To honor the preparation needed for Sex Coaching or Masturbation Coaching, I do not book these sessions for same day appointments.

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Do you do outcalls?

No. My studio in San Francisco is very convenient to public transportation. Parking in the area generally isn’t too difficult either.

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Do you accept credit cards or checks?

I accept all major credit cards. Established clients may also pay with a personal check. I ask that first-time clients pay with credit card or cash. I can provide a receipt if you need one.

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Do you offer discounts or gift certificates?

Yes! I offer a prepaid card with a built-in discount. If you pay for five 60 or 90 minute sessions in advance, your 6th session is complimentary. I also have gift certificates available as a wonderful way to give the gift of massage to your friends!

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How much time should I reserve?

It depends on what you are looking for. Regular clients who have experienced my sessions often opt to be together for 90 minutes. Some people prefer longer sessions; I’ve given sessions for up to 3 hours. If your time is limited or you would like an introduction to my massage, I have 60 minute sessions available.

If you would like erotic touch, please keep in mind that 60 minutes isn’t that much time. I believe that erotic touch is something to savor and build. For this reason, I don’t jump into erotic touch early in a session; I like to build the energy. Some men have asked for massage, genital touch and anal touch in a 60 minute session. There isn’t enough time for all this in 60 minutes. Erotic Coaching sessions are 90 minutes or longer.

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Do you have a sliding fee scale for men living with HIV or other chronic conditions?

I believe that my fees are very competitive for San Francisco. I also understand that finances can be a challenge right now. I believe that it’s important for anyone who is looking for a massage or bodywork, but can’t afford it, to be able to have the experience. For this reason, I’m happy to discuss a sliding scale or barter arrangement if that works better for us.

If we can’t work out an arrangement, I also volunteer massage services for Positive Being. They provide bodywork for people in financial need who are living with HIV and other chronic conditions. Their fees are based on your income; any money you pay Positive Being stays with them since I volunteer my services. You can also contact them in San Francisco by phone at 415-821-6477.

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I’m confused. You offer many services and I’m not sure what to ask for?

Don’t worry about the modality. Instead spend some time reflecting on what you would like to experience. Ask yourself ‘what do I want?’ Don’t worry about how you’re going to experience it. I’ll take care of that. There’s a lot of overlap between these modalities, so don’t get hung up on definitions. Also, my fees for the modalities are the same so there’s no cost difference either.

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What does the name Sacred Touch mean?

I view our bodies as sacred. To me, my body was created by my Higher Power for me. I am continually amazed how my body reacts to my mental and emotional state. I am also in awe of the pleasure that our bodies are capable of enjoying. To me, this is nothing less than sacred.

My experience with clinical massage just seemed very sterile. To me it’s important to connect with my client. On the other hand I’m not doing a sexual massage – where the intent is primarily focused on sexual energy. I believe that sensual massage has an amazing power. To me sensual massage is allowing you to feel completely in your body. For example, I am honored if you are aroused during a massage. That tells me you are present in your body and relaxed. But just because you may be aroused I don’t consider that an automatic invitation for an erotic massage. This sensual relationship is sacred to me because of the trust you place in me. I honor that trust.

Sacred Touch combines the sacred aspects of the body and pleasure with experiential touch.

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I’m not happy with my body. I think I’m ugly. How will I be treated?

Your age, body type and looks are not important to me. Many men with body image concerns find this work to be a transforming experience. My intention is to honor you exactly where you are – your age or looks are not relevant. I have worked with men in their 20′s through their 70′s.

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I like your website, who designed and built it?

I did! See, all that time working with computers taught me something :)

I’ve developed websites for other organizations. I recently formed a new company, Tekpals, to focus on web development, financial consulting and entrepreneurial coaching. Please contact me if you would like my help with your site.

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