Comments for Sacred Touch for Men

Comment on Performance by Dave

Dave — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 02:25:50 +0000

I’ve learned a lot from you man…

The most important lesson I’ve learned from you is;

I’m not alone.

Thank you!

Comment on Villages by Toranin

Toranin — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 11:46:17 +0000

Nonetheless, modern mobility offers a different way of thinking about it. Burning Man may be a “small community”, or at least contain several, but as I understand it from afar they’re very much intentional — people never get there by default, but only because their paths lead them there. Imagine if most communities were like that, and it was expected and accepted that you could leave if you stopped being “one of us” in whatever way the community defined it. (Of course, many communities of that sort would have eclectic enough identities that it would be harder to get to that point.) That doesn’t seem like such a bad aim to me.

Comment on Sadness and Longing by Toranin

Toranin — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 11:32:56 +0000

Do men have to be uncomfortable being who they are just because nobody has told them how? Why do we need an external definition of masculinity?

I did most of my growing up without anyone I regarded as a father figure, but I do not feel as though I lacked anything essential. I am a man, and have never had doubts or qualms about my gender or sexuality. In large part, this was because my mother made it absolutely clear that so long as I wasn’t hurting anyone my nature and choices were completely okay. Whether other people see who I am and what I do as masculine is not a serious concern of mine. Given this experience, I’m not at all convinced that male role models are needed for a man to develop a healthy self-image/gender identity/sexuality.

The important thing that I think is lacking is an acceptance of boys and men for who they are and who they are becoming as they grow and mature. What’s needed for many isn’t so much the knowledge of how to be a man but the acceptance that they are men no matter how they choose to express it. Beyond that, of course, is the need in society for acceptance of all kinds of gender identity regardless of physiology or cultural ideas about what is masculine or feminine.

Nonetheless, I agree with your complaints about the way our society makes it difficult for men to take part in childrens’ lives outside of a very restricted set of circumstances. That applies to girls as well as boys: I think children in general do not get a wide enough variety of positive contact with men. This is bad for the children, bad for the men, bad for the women, and bad for our society. I wish you luck in your explorations of ways to ameliorate some of these issues via mentoring and your work.

Comment on Mindful Self-Loving by Dave Williams

Dave Williams — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 02:01:19 +0000

Thank you for responding. Please give us Vancouver people lots of notice if possible because I think you will have a great response

Comment on Being Ourselves Online by Jeremy

Jeremy — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 00:36:52 +0000

Yeah the same thing here. If someone is looking to hook up then they should be honest. I am. I do not pretend and I do not hold anything back. I tell them what I will and will not do and if you do not respect my mind, body, soul then nothing is going to happen. Like you I have been physically abused but I have been mentally and sexually abused as well so that is one part I do not discuss online because there are men who prey on victims.

Comment on Why are penises so frightening? by Lexxie

Lexxie — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 05:43:23 +0000

I stumbled upon your blog while looking for resources for a piece I wanted to do on fairytales and archetypes for my own blog. But! I have to comment on this post and Fassbender’s comment about nudity vs violence…. I have never understood why it is acceptable to have such a huge percentage of the books and movies that are available include such horrendously violent scenes. We are so concerned about the people of our country viewing scenes where a couple is making love, but, as Fassbender referred to, we think nothing of watching them kill each other in the most violent ways imaginable, or even rape scenes. I completely agree with both of you, I don’t get it at all.

Comment on Villages by Russell

Russell — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 16:25:25 +0000

Thanks, Ed. As I get more entrenched in my current career, I fantasize about that “small-town” retirement scenario (and living in a small community). Your post (and the NY Times article) helped me balance my sense of escape with a healthy dose of realism. I was involved in small communities in my teens and twenties–and did find the “in-group bias” to be severely limiting of my own development.

Comment on Mindful Self-Loving by ed

ed — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 17:08:56 +0000

I’d love to but I’m not planning to be in Vancouver anytime soon. I will try to do the workshop there the next time I’m visiting.

Comment on Mindful Self-Loving by Dave Williams

Dave Williams — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 21:17:33 +0000

Are there any plans to bring Mindful Self Loving to Vancouver? I don’t get to The Bay Area very often,but this is a program that I sure could use.

Do you know of anyone else that offers such a program in the Vancouver area?

Comment on Mindful Self-Loving by ed

ed — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 16:53:45 +0000

You can arrive anytime after 6:00 and we start at 6:30. Just bring yourself and a towel!