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I’m all for equality in marriage, but …

Posted by ed on August 22, 2011
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Absolutely, positively any two adults who wish to get married should be able to. I love witnessing as each new state adds to the rolls of those offering equality in marriage. Hopefully California will soon be added (again) to that list.

However, these state laws bump up hard against the so-called Defense of Marriage Act. A same sex couple is specifically excluded from any federal rights of marriage. These exclusions cover social security survivor’s benefits, federal income tax treatment and immigration benefits for married couples. These are some pretty damn, big exclusions!

Looking at this issue through a financial lens we’re actually penalized. For example, employment benefits (like health insurance) paid to a same sex partner are subject to federal income taxes. Similar benefits paid to a mixed sex married couple are not taxable. It gets worse. There is absolutely no social security survivor’s benefit available to same sex married persons. For mixed sex married couples, if one spouse dies the surviving spouse is entitled to a portion of the benefits of the deceased spouse. Because of DOMA, we’re not. We pay the same tax, yet receive less benefit.

Federal income tax is even worse. The lower rates and higher exclusions and deductions of married filing jointly are not available to same sex married couples. We have to file tax returns as separate individuals; that filing status almost always results in a higher tax bill! To make matters worse, in California and other community property states, the federal government forces a same sex couple to evenly distribute income between both partners. In many cases, this results in a higher tax bill with absolutely no federal recognition or financial benefit. In other words, we often pay more for being treated like second class citizens.

While the battle needs to continue at the state level, I don’t see any chance soon of needed change at the federal level. Not in this crazy political environment. My only hope at the Federal level would be for this unfair financial treatment to be ruled unconstitutional, but I’m not holding my breath.

No wonder I get so disillusioned.

My First Intuitive Reading

Posted by ed on August 14, 2011
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While at Easton Mountain recently, I had the opportunity to receive an intuitive reading. Several of the men there suggested that I speak with one of the other men in attendance who is gifted with intuition. To be honest, my first reaction was not entirely positive – OK, I thought is would be a joke. I have this constant desire to know why and since I couldn’t answer the why question I discounted the entire thing. (More on the why part later!)

Yet, something in me decided to seek this man out. We had the opportunity for a short interaction. This time was very insightful for me and what he was saying resonated quite a bit with me. Unfortunately I didn’t have much time and we had to cut our time short; however, I realized that I needed to seek this man out for more time when schedules allowed.

An intuitive reading provides great information about who we are as a spirit and our path in this lifetime. It united the experience in this lifetime with our experience in our soul. It can help with blocks in our lives.  With clarity, we can change your challenges into opportunities and live life to its fullest. When we have validation for who our soul is and what we are creating and learning in our life, healing and progress naturally occur.

When we had time to chat more he held my hand and told me much that was specific and definitely resonated. He graciously donated his skills and time – which told me that this was genuine. He told me that I was an Indigo Adult and so many of the qualities he mentioned resonated with me. I was especially surprised because I really didn’t share that much about myself with him before we began the reading.

I’ve been reading a lot about Indigo Adults. While not every quality I read about resonated, most of them do. The following are typical characteristics of the Indigo children, teens or adult Indigos (from metagifted.org) with my comments about how this information resonated with me:

Indigo Adult Attribute What I’ve Noticed About Myself
highly intuitive – can be telepathic and show extrasensory capabilities I spend much of my life ignoring this, but lately I’m feeling called to focus more on intuition and it feels right to me. I like the balance of perception and intuition.
will often say seemingly ‘profound’ statements and has an strong interest in God – they often seem wise beyond their years I ignored God and religion for many years as I found conflict between religion and being gay. Recently much more open to God.
has an affinity towards angels, ‘invisible friends’ such as fairies, gnomes, and lots and lots of colour in every aspect of life Ever since an event when I was in my early 20′s, I’ve felt the presence of a protector.
very sensitive to the environment, (can include food & additives), energy fields, electrical currents, as well as emotional sensitivity to what is happening around them not really
strong willed – have a determination about them, often ‘warrior-like’ in their personality Oh yes! Sometimes to a detriment.
will often ‘call them as they seem them’ and won’t hold back from doing so Yep!
can have a fiery temper and demeanor – rarely wavers from the onetrack mind Yes, and I’ve spent the last decade trying to integrate my fire and my heart.
can often be confused with having a defiant attitude – will often do the exact opposite of what they are told to do I’m very much a rebel – don’t tell me what to do! If you do odds are I won’t do it out of spite.
strong need to help others, individually or globally Yes.
often introverted and a loner Very much yes! I’m a happy introvert.
likes to work alone most of the time or in groups where is there is mutual cooperation and respect Yes, the primary reason I left the corporate world was because I hated the politics. I like things direct and don’t do well with political intrigue.
seemingly antisocial until they meet up with others like them Yes, I have a few very close friends. I find it difficult to bond, but when I do it’s for real.
can come into the world with a feeling of being ‘royal’ and often behave like it  I never felt that I was special.
usually possess a good sense of humour Sometimes, but my humor is often dry.
highly artistic and creative with a bountiful imagination I have a strong imagination that is tilted toward science fiction.
is usually gifted in one or more areas ie. art, music, math, etc. I’ve always felt that I know a lot about many different areas. Sometimes I feel that I’m a jack of all trades and master of none.
very technologically oriented – usually are whizzes at computers or other gadgetry Yes, I’m a geek and proud of it. I love my life of bodywork and coding and I don’t know anyone else doing this combination!
easily frustrated especially when asked or told to something seemingly without reason or purpose ie. ‘because I said so’ does not work Yes, I have to know why. Nothing stops me like ‘because that’s the way we’ve always done it.’
does not respond to any guilt or shame-filled situations Just look at this site!
is a non-confirmist, ‘bucks the system’, and rebels against structure and authority ie. very often they come up with innovative or different ways of seeing solutions to problem or looking at a situation I don’t feel that I came into my own until I built my own box. I wasn’t comfortable in someone else’s box.
is very comfortable being around plants, nature, animals, and the outdoors Yes to all.
is very intolerant of situations that does not allow for their free will or choice to shine through ie. decisions made for them are usually unacceptable I have a strong reaction when someone else makes a decision for me – even trivial decisions. I rarely see things as black and white – most everything are shades of gray.
can be very self-reliant Yes, sometimes to a detriment.
deals often with depression, insomnia, or bodily issues such as chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia and in extreme cases – energetic mania or freneticness Not really – never experienced depression. I can get into a funk sometimes, but that’s just part of life.
can be misdiagnosed as ADD or ADHD Not severe, but I am easily distracted by shiny objects. Remember… jack of all trades, master of none!
because of the level of frenetic energy around them, often they are great multi-taskers, accomplishing many things within short period of time, and having many projects on the go at once; but not necessarily following through with all of them I often feel that there isn’t enough time to learn what I want to learn in a day.
they do not have a problem in stating what they need As an adult this hasn’t been an issue. This was a big issue when I was younger.
very often feel misunderstood – social settings in school are often an extremely challenging time I’ve always been the misfit.
has no patience and very intolerant of abuse – human, animal, environmental Yes, the world is unfair and I can’t stand that.
is intolerant of deceitful behaviour – has the ability to ‘see’ through illusions ie. nobody can pull the ‘wool over their eyes’, can tell when someone is lying or dishonest, or when someone is saying one thing and does another Another reason I left the corporate world.

Desperation

Posted by ed on August 9, 2011
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Recently while relaxing in a hot tub after a long day, I encountered a young man really wanting an erotic connection. He was aggressively flirting with me and the other men in the water. While sex in or around the water would have been OK, it wasn’t an explicitly sexual place. I couldn’t help but notice how aggressive this young man was in his actions. I’m often open to sexual encounters, but this situation was different – the man was desperate for affection.

Of course I’m making his story up. In reality I don’t know what was going on inside his mind. All I was really aware of were his actions. But this got me thinking about how desperate we are for connection and how that desperation comes off onto others.

If he was looking for real connection, there were plenty of opportunities for that. I would have enjoyed connecting with the man in the water through a conversation, a hug, even light caressing. However, his aggressive need for sexual connection really turned me off.

It got me thinking about my history of looking for connection through sex. I recall the longing I had looking for connection and validation through sex. I also recall that although this type of connection met one need, it was sorely lacking in meeting other needs.

How many of us are looking in the wrong places for connection and coming off desperate in the process? Sex can be great, sometimes conversation, holding and caressing is even better!